Animal Chaplaincy

For many of us who have experienced the death a family member, we do our best to keep that memory alive or their presence by honoring their birthdays, or at Christmas time or other events throughout the year. We may wear a pendent with their photo, or some other keepsake close to ourselves, we may make an altar, or have a daily ritual. I remember when my Mum died of breast cancer very suddenly in September ’98. I experienced terrible loneliness and grief, and this was felt even more at the first Christmas and my birthday…not having her to talk to (she was in the UK while I live in the US). Every year on her birthday I’ve always done something to celebrate her day, from taking my kids out when they were young for a meal to honor her, to making donations in her name. As time has passed, I still feel her presence with me whenever I walk into a sunlit room, certain smells, being in nature, and around animals! It’s that continual bond that’s so important for us after the loss of someone. However, when we lose an animal companion that need for a continuing bond is no less important for many folks, but unfortunately, it’s not often supported within our society’s!

Disclaimer - I am not a certified Health care practitioner, therefore this content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a/your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on my website, I provide information as an animal chaplain, not advice! 

There are many ways we experience that continuing bond with the loss of our animal companion, when we feel so lost without the ritual of going for walks, feeding time, or that unconditional greeting we receive when we walk through the front door. We can create rituals, or ceremonies, create keep sakes that we can wear. Here are a just a few ways that we can continue the bond –

• Planting a tree or flower in their favorite spot in the yard/garden, and if you live in an apartment and have a balcony you can plant some flowers or herbs in a planter. You might design a plaque with their name on it to put by the tree, flowers, or in the planter. You could do this in the front yard/garden or by your front door so that you see it every day when you walk out your front door. If it’s a plant inside your house by your front door, this might be an ideal area to also hang their leash, and you might touch it every time you pass in and out of your front door. Or you could plant a memorial garden, with different flowers, and some statues/flag, etc. in your back yard
• Buy a keepsake memorial wind-chime and hang it by the door or out in the yard, I have two hanging outside our back door where both Sherlock and Missy would bark when they wanted to come in the house.
• If your animal companion was cremated and you have their ashes, there are many items that you can keep them in from a personalized urn, to carrying their ashes in a locket, the ashes made into jewelry. In fact, just searching on the web brings up many different ideas.
• A tattoo of their face, or pawprints. I have a tattoo of both Sherlock and Missy’s pawprints on my arm, one of my girlfriends has a tattoo paw print with her some of her pup’s ashes in it!
• Shadow boxes that include collar, paw and or nose prints along with photos
• Having custom furnishings made with their photo’s printed on them such as blankets, pillows, totes, t-shirts, and sweatshirts. I’ve even seen companies where you mail in a few photos, and they recreate your animal companion as a stuffed animal toy that you can cuddle.
• Creating an alter with their collar/leash/photos and having flowers or a candle. 
• Keeping their favorite blankets, chairs, or beds visible or still in the room where they used to be with you.
• Travel size alter tin (see resources for instructions)
• I’ve known people who’ve carried their collars in their pockets when they went for a walk

Two of the hardest things for me was the loss of tactile touch, and the smell of their forehead! Not being able to stroke their fur and smell their forehead’s as I gave them a kiss on there, has been incredibly hard for me. The other thing that was hard was going for a walk around my neighborhood, they were always with us when we went out for a walk. I tried many ways to walk the routes, such as walking in the opposite direction, and missing off parts of the route. But nothing seemed to feel right, and I always seemed to come home depressed. While I was finishing up my certification, I started to walk daily through a wetland area near to my house that we’d take Sherlock and Missy to about 3-4 times a week. I started to notice that I would almost speed walk my route just to get to the wetland area, then once there I just slowed down and stop and just experience this area of wetland. I think it helped that I’m also a Forest Therapy guide, as standing there and opening my senses is such a healing and spiritual experience for me. Sherlock and Missy loved to stop and sniff and listen and look at everything that’s there. When I stand there, I feel like they’re also there with me by my side sensing everything that’s around! This has become a daily ritual for me, even on the days when its pouring with rain, or in the winter when it’s snowed. 

If you’re finding going out for a walk without your animal companion by your side is sad and hard to do, you might see if there, is a favorite park, tree, green area, wetland, woodland, etc. that you used to walk with them. If so, can you take your time to walk through or by this area, maybe stopping and opening your senses to everything that’s around you. Even feeling their presence there with you, just as you’re stopping and sensing, imagine them by your side sniffing at the ground, flowers, and trees!